Sunday, June 23, 2013

Routine and Processing

Life here has fallen into a routine. I still love the baking (good thing!). Today I was asked if I could make a dozen cheesecakes for a conference our church is hosting at the beginning of August. I'm looking forward to using the well-equipped bakery to do those, instead of doing them two at a time at my house like I did last Christmas! 

Some of you know that I had been pretty burned-out for the last year or so at home. I had a lot of work and not much processing time. I'm really feeling the change here. There's work, yes, but a lot of time on my own, thinking about life. I've been forcing myself to do creative things, like sketching and writing (both fiction and stream-of-consciousness journaling), for two reasons. The first is to get back in practice because I haven't worked on my projects in so long. The second is that I know from experience that these things will put my brain in a mode that will deal with issues instead of keeping them filed away for later processing. 

I hate when people talk about issues they're dealing with but are vague enough that you imagine the worst possible scenarios, so I'll try to fill you in a little. One is my feelings towards a person from my past. I thought I processed this one already, but my reactions would seem to show otherwise. One is my teaching. I went to school for two years to train to be a teacher and I burned out in two years. Did I do the wrong thing, or follow the wrong dream? Also, what does it mean for my future? Another has to do with what I believe about God, and my current relationship with Him. 

I would appreciate your thoughts and prayers in the coming weeks and months as I get some heavy-duty processing out of the way! 

Thank you for reading that slightly-on-the-side-of-awkward-and-overly-personal account of my current life. To ease the feelings you're probably experiencing about why you clicked on this link, here are some pictures and words about an adventure I had the other day. 

 This beautiful place is easily within walking distance of my house. It's called Ballygunner Temple. The grass is long and ripples like waves in the sea, and the foxglove is blooming brilliantly. I went with a lovely group of girls this last time, and had fun exploring, but I can't wait to go again by myself and take my journal.

 A cross stands silently amid the purple grass.

 It is a dignified and serene place despite that it is in ruins and is covered with ivy.

One last look past the wall -- old gravestones, blue flowers (type unknown), and the rolling green hills of my magical Ireland. 

Thanks for reading!

1 comment:

  1. You're brave, Bek. Thanks for being human and brave. The pictures look magical... May I PLEASE just come see you now?